Getting to the Bottom of Things: Your Ultimate Guide to Anal Play
Anal stimulation is something that can be enjoyed by anyone, regardless of gender identity and sexual orientation. Everybody has a butt and everybody loves a good orgasm, so why not explore every option your body has to offer? After all we’re just walking nerve endings!
Butt (pun intended), while porn and other pop-culture media might convey anal play as an act that goes from 0-100, without any preparation or lubrication, this unfortunately is not realistic. Remember Rome wasn’t built in a day, and neither was enjoyable anal!
However, great (orgasmic) things come to those who wait, and if you’re ready to commit some time to preparation, research, and investing in some appropriate lubricant. Anal play can not only be enjoyable, but also push your orgasms to new heights.
So, if you’re ready to hop off the beatin’ track, but not really sure where to start, then this is your all comprehensive anal play guide!
Well… why anal?
An Anatomy Lesson
Much like the vagina, the outer third of the anus contains more nerve endings than the anal canal and responds best to touch and vibration. The inner portion (inside the canal, and the second muscle ring you will feel) has fewer nerve endings near the surface and responds to feelings of fullness, pressure and rhythm.
For our lucky ladies, and friends with vaginas, anal stimulation tends to be an added bonus – many like the feeling of fullness that it offers, and that it can be another way to stimulate the G-spot through the vaginal walls. Because let’s face it, a toy in both the vagina and the anus, or a penis in either, sounds deliciously wicked – and can feel even better! Embrace maximising your pleasure!
For the gentleman or people with prostates however, anal opens up a pandora’s box of pleasure! So, let’s discuss the P-Spot! The prostate (P-spot, much like the G-spot), is a gland that’s positioned around the neck of the bladder, and is most accessible through anal play. Stimulating this gland is another way of achieving that highly sought-after toe-curling orgasm, with prostate stimulation usually being regarded for its stronger, deeper, and more powerful orgasms (than penile stimulation alone). Additionally, the penis is more or less anchored at the prostate, so when you massage a guy’s prostate you also transmit sensation to the base of his penis, and now doesn’t that sound fun!
In recent times, there has been a common stigmatisation surrounding the receiving and enjoyment of anal pleasure for men. However, the anal cavity and prostate do not have a sexual orientation, and are not determinate of who you are attracted to. Regardless of your identity or orientation, anal play should be enjoyed anyone who has one!
Another enjoyable aspect of anal play can be the taboo/forbidden nature of the area, and power play dynamics at play due to the pain or discomfort that can occur. However, it’s important to remember, that a pleasurable experience can be just as much mental as physical! If you're turned on by taboos and the power play experience anal can entail, that's valid too! Just remember to play safe folks!
Preparing your Space
Invest in a Douche, and no, we’re not talking about your ex!
Now, before getting down to business, there are a few steps you can do to ensure things go as tip top as possible. I have one word for you, douche! With any backdoor play there is a little anxiety with how, well, “clean” things are back there. Douching before anal play helps relieve these worries, by, flushing out the anal cavity with water and ensuring everything is squeaky clean.
Numbing creams are a pain in the ass…
Although it may seem like a good idea at the time, unfortunately anal numbing creams/gels/serums are more trouble than they’re worth. Remember pain shouldn’t be a part of properly prepared anal! Not only that, but pain is an indicator that you might be; going to fast, need more lube, etc. So, when you use numbing creams you aren’t able to identify these things, and may do damage that you don’t realise.
Remember the anal cavity doesn’t self-lubricate, so you’re going to need to lube up! Any lubricant is better than no lubricant, however spending the time to look for the best lubricant for you is the key to maximising your experience!
No matter what you choose to do, here are some basic tips!
- Try anal play on yourself first! Anal play can be daunting, and especially with a partner, so the first step to calming those nerves is to explore your own body. See what feels good, what you don’t like, and what you want to try. Go at your own pace but explore, explore, explore!
- Start anal play after foreplay, or when you’re already aroused. The biggest key to good anal is relaxing, and your body is most receptive to anal when already enjoying pleasure.
- Work your way up! Before diving in, experiment with fingers, anal toys, plugs, anal beads, and massagers. They’re a great way to get used to the sensation of being filled, and having vigorous motion in unfamiliar territory.
- Be careful what you’re inserting! Never insert any toys that don’t have a flared base, and don’t insert anything that can create a vacuum (such as, bottles).
- You might bleed a little, and that’s okay! Before we call 000 at anal tears remember these are microscopic and should heal within a few days. Just make sure to keep the area clean, and give your booty some time off. Of course, if it gets worse, is quite severe, or you’re just unsure consult with your doctor.
- No double dipping! We all know how exciting things can get in the moment, but safety first! If you’re partner has a vagina, move from the anus to the vagina during intercourse can cause unwanted bacteria in areas it shouldn’t be.
- If you haven’t realised already, slow and steady wins the race, so take your time!